


Different Roads

by Cendari



Series: Thanks Kate [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gibbs is Scrooge, Post Twilight, Why did Kate have to die?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-20
Updated: 2012-08-20
Packaged: 2017-11-12 13:55:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cendari/pseuds/Cendari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas time, and spending all that time with Jeanne has been making Tony consider what might have been if Kate hadn't been killed. (Cross-posted to FF.net)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different Roads

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: A somewhat belated Christmas entry that could be considered a follow-up "Thanks, Kate", but should still stand on its own. It was mostly inspired by the song, "What Might Have Been", by Little Texas, which is beautiful despite the fact that it was recorded by a country group. (And before you go flaming me for dissing the country singers, let me explain: when I was younger, my mother had a stereo system in the living room of our house set as an alarm clock and it was ALWAYS set at the local country station, which sucked. After having music you don't like blasted into your ears at 7 in the morning, you tend to develop a pretty violent dislike, which has, admittedly, mellowed some over the years.) ANYWAY... you can find the song on YouTube, take a listen.
> 
> I tried to keep it from getting too shippy as the reviewers for "Thanks Kate" seemed to be quite pleased that I worked very hard to stay on the fence, but I'm not sure how well I suceeded this time. On with the show...
> 
> Disclaimer: DPB, CBS, and Paramount own the sandbox, I'm just playing in it for a bit. I promise I'll try to leave them in the same condition I found them, Mr. DPB, sir.

Tony DiNozzo slouched into the squad room late Christmas Eve. After having dinner with the JAG staff, and going to Commander Turner's father's sermon, he'd found himself at loose ends and his car had steered itself to NCIS headquarters. Jeanne had gone to spend the holidays with her family at his insistence – though she hadn't been happy about it – and Tony hadn't spent a single Christmas with his family since he'd gotten into college.

Tony slung his outdoor jacket around the back of his chair and plopped into the seat. He turned on the desk lamp and booted up his computer before reaching for the ever-present stacks of paperwork and cold case files. If anybody asked, he was simply there because criminals didn't take time off for the holidays, and it wouldn't be the first time they got called on a case on Christmas morning.

He slogged away for a few hours, getting up occasionally to refill his coffee cup, and eventually leaned back in his chair as exhaustion finally took its toll. Tony yawned and his eyes slid shut, breathing pattern slowing and deepening, and his last conscious thought was that he'd just close his eyes for a few minutes.  
Tony jerked awake at the sound of the surf pounding onto the beach and blinked blearily at his surroundings, taking into account his limited range as he was lying on his stomach on a beach blanket with his head pillowed on his crossed arms. "Did I miss anything?" he asked the feminine presence at his side.

There was a familiar yawn as the head resting on his shoulder shifted, looking for a more comfortable position since he'd tensed and shifted. "No. Remind me why we wanted to lie on the beach to watch the sun rise?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time?" Tony offered, twisting around to smile at Kate as she lifted her head to look at him. The quickly lightening sky allowed him to drink in her tired eyes, sleepy smile, and tousled hair and his heart clenched at the sight.

"Yeah, well, the next time you come up with a "brilliant" idea, I reserve the right to veto it," Kate muttered as her eyes slowly closed and her head dropped back to rest on his shoulder.

The tightness in his chest loosened a bit and he pressed a kiss to her dark curls."So, I've been wondering: why Panama City?"

"It's one place we've both been that doesn't have any negative connotations associated with it; each time we were here, we were happy. Any place else has work associations."

"Ah." He waited a beat and then gently shifted the shoulder she'd claimed. "Head up." She complied, he turned over onto his back, and she resettled herself with an arm wrapped around his waist for good measure.

"You know, it's probably a good thing I never realized what a good pillow you make," she commented. Though he couldn't see her face, Tony could practically hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah, good thing," he agreed. He stared up at the sky for several minutes, mostly working up the nerve to ask her something that had been bothering him for a long time. "Hey, Kate?"

"Yeah, Tony?"

"You ever wonder…?"

"Wonder what, Tony? I'm not a mind reader."

"What might have happened between us, if things hadn't gone the way they had? We never really had a chance to define what it is that we have."

"I don't know, Tony; we'll never know. I have a few theories, however, as to what might have happened if we'd tried a relationship: number one, we'd kill each other; number two, we'd realize that we were meant to be friends and coworkers and just move on; or number three, that we'd be happy. Either way, try not to think about it, Tony. That was then, and this is now. Besides, I actually like Jeanne!" she finished, lifting her head to look him in the eye.

"Me, too."

"I know I loved you, Tony. I wasn't in love with you, but I don't think it would have taken much to go that extra step."

"I loved you, too, Kate." She looked at him for a second, and then leaned forward and kissed him. It was pure comfort; tenderness, love, and healing wrapped up in two sets of lips. There was a second at the start when the sparks started flying but they kept it chaste only through extreme use of will-power.

The sun broke over the horizon as Kate tugged Tony to his feet, allowing him the opportunity to take in and admire her apple-green two-piece swimsuit. "Let's walk."

Their hands naturally entwined as they strolled down the sandy beach, and they talked about everything and nothing, including Tony's new girlfriend. "You really like her?" he asked.

"She's good for you. I have to admit to missing the X-rated Peter Pan who would make my days an exercise in anger management, but I like the new, more mature you."

"Geez, Kate, you don't have to make it sound like I'm schizophrenic or anything."

Her eyes rolled as she shoved him. "You know what I mean," she groused.

He lifted their joined hands and kissed her knuckles in apology. Farther down the beach, she stopped, turned, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Tony enfolded her in his embrace and rested his chin on the top of her shining head. "Tony, I want you, no, need you to know that I'll always be here, no matter what."

Tony tensed as the knot in his chest tightened again. "I love you, Kate."

"I love you, too, Tony. And now it's time for you to wake up. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Kate. And thanks."

As his world turned white, he heard her say clearly, "I've always got your six, Tony."  
Tony bolted upright in his office chair, surprising Ziva and Gibbs with the abrupt movement. Tony gave them a wide-eyed look that spoke of his equal surprise, but he rallied quickly and flashed a smile. "Morning, Boss, Ziva."

"Happy Christmas, Tony," Ziva said.

"Merry Christmas, Ziva. Merry Christmas, Boss."

"Bah, humbug," Gibbs grouched.

As soon as their attention was diverted elsewhere, Tony took the opportunity to rub his eyes and wonder if maybe his subconscious had gone off the deep end. Just as he came to the conclusion that he'd gone insane overnight, Kate appeared before him, dressed in her apple-green bikini and a gentle smile on her face.

He allowed himself thirty seconds – okay, maybe it was closer to a full minute – to consider what might have been. When he was done, he bundled it all up and buried it in the deepest corner of his mind, right alongside his memories of his childhood, and all the cases where innocent kids were victimized in some way. That chapter in his life was over now, and it was time to take the bookmark out; he still had Kate, and always would if she was to be believed, to keep him out of trouble, and it had to be enough.

"Thanks, Kate."

"I've always got your six, Tony."

And she did.

FIN


End file.
